It has taken time, many years and places

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It’s a plan.

It’s a plan.

cheeses I love:

- cheddar (duh)
- pepper jack
- goat cheese (esp the TJ’s kind with herbs and shit)
- gouda

what should I try next??

I’ve been stuck in the “everything is terrible and I hate all humans” brainspace for about a week now and so I am going to make a list of things in my life that don’t make me want to crawl into bed and never leave. Okay? OKAY

  • I have been making some killer sandwiches recently. All the veggies, roast beef, hot peppers, fancy cheeses. It’s been great.
  • I made a joke on facebook and a bunch of people liked it and made nice comments.
  • My cat is adorable and ridiculous and I love her.
  • I went to the beach with some friends and put my feet in the sound and found a rock shaped like a heart.
  • I live in Seattle and it is the best city.
  • I moved to a new store and the people there are much MUCH less terrible than the people at my old store. I do not hate my job quite as much.
  • I officially withdrew from grad school and am very glad to have that part of my life for-reals behind me.
  • Some people I have friend-crushes on want to hang out with me and my roommate, which makes me feel like I am an interesting and cool person because those people are interesting and cool.
  • I got some new stomping boots and they make me feel so fabulous and just the right balance of butch and femme and also POWERFUL.

The Radioactive Fox (feat. Ylvis)
Imagine Dragons

fadeintocase:

oneboredjeu:

image

The Radioactive Fox

Radioactive by Imagine Dragons vs. The Fox by Ylvis.

Based on the above post.

Download here.

why does the second verse work so well lyrics-wise what the fuck

softerworld:

A Softer World: 1138
(not every verb has to be transitive)
buy this print

softerworld:

A Softer World: 1138

(not every verb has to be transitive)

buy this print

i worked at a different store today and i kind of ranted a little about all the sexist bullshit i have to put up with at my regular store, and now i am all anxious because WHAT IF MY BOSS FINDS OUT I TALKED ABOUT IT and WHAT IF IT ISN’T A BIG DEAL AND I AM JUST A WHINER

but i’m pretty sure it is a big deal? idk mannnn, it’s tough when you’ve never not been a woman in a male-dominated work setting. 

Aug 9

stability:

philwrir:

officialfrenchtoast:

INTENSE

ITS BACK

I’m bringing this back from the depths of hell

oh my gosh OH MY GOSH

(Source: nevereverbeensosatisfied)

Aug 9

ozymandias271:

everyone talks about sexual compatibility in a primary partner but no one talks about food compatibility which I feel like is WAY MORE IMPORTANT

are they willing to eat mac and cheese on a regular basis

are they excited by the idea of joining a CSA and getting a box of random local vegetables every two weeks

Aug 7

ofgeography:

so here’s a fun story about this movie. guess who loves this movie? me! i do! i love this movie. i love this movie so much that when i was in the 7th grade and i saw “first wives club 2” on pay per view i was like: HELL YEAH!! FIRST WIVES CLUB TWO!! NO ONE TOLD ME THERE WAS A SEQUEL!!!

here’s the synopsis for first wives club 2:

disgruntled first wives take their ex-husbands’ new lovers under their wing.

sounds great, right? awesome viewing material for a precocious 11-year-old.

so i buy this movie, and like, three minutes into it i’m starting to feel suspicious?? like it’s really low quality and my girls are nowhere in sight?? how come none of the first wives are the same?? how come they’re alone in a bedroom with mood lighting?? why is she taking off her shirt?? why are they both taking off their shirts?? WHY ARE THEY—

here’s what i did not know about first wives club 2:

  • it is a lesbian porno of no relation to the beloved 1996 classic.

so of course i, horrified that i’ve accidentally bought porn on my family’s account (and in that state of panic that kids work themselves into whenever anything regarding sex is mentioned), quickly shut off the TV and go upstairs and watch an episode of veggie tales to like, cleanse my soul and apologize to jesus, and that’s that.

EXCEPT, OF COURSE:

  • you have to pay for pay per view.

so the end of the month comes and i have completely put this incident out of my mind, haha, i accidentally bought porn, how funny, TELL NO ONE. right? and i’m sitting at a nice dinner with my mother, my stepfather, and my very religious aunt deb, and we’re just talking about farm things, whatever, when suddenly my mother puts her fork down and says, “okay, there’s something we need to discuss. as a family.”

  • AS A FAMILY.

and i’m like, running through a list of people i know who could conceivably be dead, and fantasizing about my mother announcing that she’s going to buy me My Own Computer Just Because U Earned It Kiddo, and she pulls out a piece of paper that says DIRECTV across the top. and i’m like: OH NO.

"i received the tv bill today," my mother said, and i was like, shoveling potatoes into my mouth as fast as i could because i knew that when i went to PORN PRISON they weren’t going to feed me this kind of quality starch. "does anybody want to tell me who purchased the pornography?"

as a reminder, a quick table survey:

  • my mother, surprised and disappointed by the porn bill (innocent)
  • my stepfather, a grumbly old cowboy who just wants to sing along to kenny chesney and watch the hunt for red october (innocent)
  • my aunt deb, a super religious catholic whose best friend is a nun named Sister Placid (innocent)
  • me, the 11-year-old with a mouthful of potatoes who definitely purchased the lesbian pornography

silence.

my mother said, “i’m not going to ask again.”

silence.

my aunt looked at my stepdad. my stepdad looked at my aunt. NOBODY LOOKED AT ME, THE 11-YEAR-OLD WITH A MOUTHFUL OF POTATOES WHO DEFINITELY PURCHASED THE LESBIAN PORNOGRAPHY.

my mother shook her head and put the bill down. “this was incredibly inappropriate,” she said. “skip, deb, whoever. buy that shit on your own time. i’m not paying for it. what if molly had seen it?”

  • WHAT IF MOLLY HAD SEEN IT?

"don’t expose my kid to that crap."

  • DON’T
  • EXPOSE
  • MY KID
  • TO THAT CRAP

"if you want to watch porn, fine, but do it in private and don’t expect me to pay for it. i can’t believe one of you did that in the living room."

  • I CAN’T BELIEVE ONE OF YOU DID THAT
  • IN THE LIVING ROOM

but molly, why didn’t you own up to it and explain that it was an accident?

  • are you fucking kidding
  • i did not want to go to porn prison

the fun conclusion to this story is that i never owned up to it, which means that there are 3 people in the world who have not solved the mystery of the lesbian porn. a quick survey:

  • my mother, who lives every day wondering whose porn she paid for
  • my stepfather, who probably wishes he knew less about his wife’s sister’s porn preferences
  • my aunt, who probably wishes she knew less about her sister’s husband’s porn preferences

but molly, why don’t you own up to it now, with the safety of time and distance and the knowledge that porn prison isn’t real?

  • are you fucking kidding
  • this is the best thing i’ve ever done

(Source: bellecs)

Aug 7

osjecam:

sorry i’m late, professor. im disenchanted with the human experience and waking up every morning thrusts me into an instant existential crisis